Shirley Serious
Gutter Press
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Posted - 2016.02.27 09:22:41 -
[1] - Quote
News reaches Gutter Press, of a planet in Delve, that witnesses claim has "Bhaalgorns" living on it.
Demonic !
The witnesses, a group of planetary surveyors, claim that on a survey trip from a nearby capsuleer owned planetary industry starport, they observed several crude settlements populated by strange humanoid figures.
While unregistered populations of people are not unknown in New Eden, undiscovered primitive tribes of humans are still being found on remote planets every few years, what differentiates this discovery, was that the populace of the settlements appeared not to be human at all.
Supernatural !
Instead, in the images shown to Gutter Press, the people appeared to be 2 metres tall, with goat-like heads, complete with horns.
Horny !
The images also showed that the villages consisted of simple stone and wood huts, surrounded by fields of crops, though several structures were more complex, including what appeared to be temples of some sort, complete with statues, possibly of whichever deity these people worship.
Religious !
"I had never seen anything like this. Gave me the willies so it did", said one of the surveyors.
"It is a Sign. The End Times approach. Humans have displeased God, and He is planning to replace humans with demon people", said another of the surveyors.
"I ain't never seen nothing as weird as that. And I've seen them Gallente bodymodders", said another.
Unusual !
Gutter Press spoke with several experts about this apparent discovery
"Those statues look familiar. Hmmm. Very familiar indeed.", said an archaeologist. "Which raises more questions."
"I would suspect some kind of gene-engineered mutant, by some Covenant geneomancer, rather than divine origin. At least, without being able to examine these people myself", said a medical researcher.
"I have Not Heard of Anything Like this before. It may have Profound Implications", said a local planetary ruler.
"Omg, that's like, totes amazing. Like, omg ! We could totes use them in our routine, if they could dance and stuff." said a Delve resident exotic dancer.
Gutter Press. Information you didn't know you wanted.
Just the facts.
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